Maintaining Family Ties

DAILY DOSE OF DEEN: Be good to family members even those who treat you badly

اَعُوْذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيْمِ
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمن الرَّحِيْمِ

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaathu everyone!

This is a bit of a touchy subject for us Pakistanis seeing as many of us hate so many of our own family members. It is one that should be addressed though. Now Islam is a beautiful religion and one that encourages people to be good to one another. Where does that goodness start? It starts with your family. Understandably there are probably people in your family that you cannot stand like that auntie that make the snide remarks or the cousin that looks for every opportunity to see you fail or the uncle that constantly belittles you. However, Allah (سبحانه وتعلي) has put these people in your life for a reason. Just because you do not know what that reason is it is not for you to question Allah (سبحانه وتعلي)’s Judgement.

Just as there are family members that we dislike (bordering on hate) there will also inevitably be family members that we love and would give an arm or a leg for. Sometimes people think that our kindness should only extend to those who reciprocate it to us, but that is not how Islam works. We should be good to those despite how people treat us. Be an example for others. Show non-Muslims the beauty of Islam through your actions. Show kindness to those who are unkind to you. Forgive people who do not deserve to be forgiven. Love everyone regardless of how they treat you and be fair to everyone. This especially applies to our family members.

It is important that we remember this because there are severe consequences to breaking relations with family members. In an authentic Hadith in Sahih Bukhari, the Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه واله وسلم) said,

“The person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise.”

– Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله تعلي عليه واله وسلم)

This Hadith shows the major repercussions of breaking ties with family members. Is it really worth our Hereafter to hold grudges against people? At the end of the day the only people we are harming is ourselves. The beauty of Islam is that everything that is sinful for us to do is that these things will only cause us more harm and that is why we are forbidden for us to do these things.

There are many verses of the Quran that have been revealed on the subject and so many Hadith that have been narrated about the value of maintaining ties with relatives. Maintaining good terms with family members is our duty as Muslims and it is Wajib to treat relatives.

Obviously, the family members most deserving of our love, affection and good treatment are our parents before anyone else. After that it is your mahrams with whom marriage with will always be Haraam, so people like your siblings, uncles and aunties. We should try our utmost best to strengthen family ties by being courteous and kind at all times. This is a command from Allah (سبحانه وتعلي) and it will help us to with preparing for our Hereafter.

Sources / Further Reading

English

Quran Translation – Kanz ul Iman
Videos – Maintaining Family Ties
Kind Treatment with Relatives

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